central locking

A dollar is hard to come by, Zimbabweans say. So here's one incredibly inventive way a spurned Zimbabwean woman has devised to raise 2,000 dollars: lock your lover.

Central locking can be a delicate problem in Zimbabwe, when it's not the car-kind. In a country where many still believe in witchcraft -- or versions of -- central locking can be a useful safety feature of a sexual relationship. If you don't want your man to stray, just lock him. He won't be able to perform with anyone else.

But what happens when you forget to unlock him?

That's the problem Malvin Herbert Muchirahondo of eastern Zimbabwe is grappling with. He says his ex, supermarket till operator Precious Mushati, "locked" him while they were in a relationship last year. He went back to his wife (with whom he had a second child whilst still in a relationship with Ms Mushati) but found he'd been "locked": he couldn't sleep with her. He blames Ms Mushati.

Half-page photos of Mr Muchirahondo and Ms Mushati have been splashed across the local weekly for the last three weeks. Each time it's the same photo. It's a picture taken in winter, judging from the fleece he's wearing. Ms Mushati has a short wig. She's looking down, away from the camera. He's got his arm round her and they both look.... happy.

To begin with, Ms Mushati denied she'd locked her ex. Then -- scenting an opportunity (cashiers earn around 120 US per month) -- she said she could unlock him. At a price, of course: 2,000 US. That's small change for the Supas of this world, no doubt, but not for everyone else.

The case has aroused huge interest locally: readers have texted in to give Mr Muchirahondo their advice. "It's sad, but it can be reversed," one reader promised. I notice that the latest "locking" article in the Manica Post advises that he try 4 cloves of raw garlic a day.